What your mom didn’t know about menopause: Surprising truths and menopause myths

For too long, menopause and the transition period leading up to menopause (called perimenopause) have been shrouded in mystery. This may leave you feeling unprepared for the unexpected challenges this stage of life can bring. With better understanding, we hope you will have the knowledge you need to navigate some of the more surprising menopause realities with confidence.

Menopause myths still exist

Yes, everyone is talking about menopause more openly these days (thank goodness!), but myths still abound. Here we share five falsehoods you’ve likely heard at some point, along with science-backed truths.

5 common myths about menopause and perimenopause

1. Perimenopause starts when you’re old.
2. The whole thing only lasts a year.
3. Healthcare professionals don’t specialize in menopause.
4. You can’t get pregnant.
5. After menopause, your life is over.

5 truths about menopause

1. The average age of menopause is 51.¹ (That’s not old!) Especially when you consider perimenopause can start years before you reach menopause.
2. Menopause is only a single day! Perimenopause, the transition period leading up to menopause, can last anywhere from 4 to 8 years.¹ Once you reach 12 consecutive months without a period, that day is menopause. After that day, you’re postmenopausal.
3. Certified Menopause Practitioners (CMPs) exist. These are healthcare professionals who have participated in menopausal transition training and are certified by The Menopause Society (formerly known as the North American Menopause Society). You can find CMPs here.
4. In perimenopause, you can get pregnant. According to The Menopause Society, “Although fertility falls during perimenopause, women are not fully protected from an unplanned pregnancy until they have reached menopause, which means 12 straight months without a period. Even if you have a few months without a period, you can still get pregnant.”² While still possible, pregnancy as you get older may require some help. See your healthcare professional if you’re over 40 and thinking about pregnancy.
5. There are many benefits to being postmenopausal! No more PMS and no more periods for starters. You can read more about the benefits of menopause here.

Below we share some more unexpected truths about peri and postmenopause.

Your sex life might change

You may have heard that sexual desire wanes during perimenopause, but (surprise!) perimenopause isn’t always the cause.

Libido loss in perimenopause

During perimenopause, you may experience changes in your sex drive.³ Around this time, your estrogen levels begin to drop, which may affect your libido by causing issues like vaginal dryness.³ However, a 13-year study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology in 2022 showed that while nearly half of the women who experienced sexual pain “sometimes” during the menopausal transition, there wasn’t a strong connection between sexual pain and intercourse frequency — the study found that more common reasons for decreased frequency included lack of interest and relationship issues.⁴

You also might find yourself wanting to have more sex during peri and postmenopause.³ If you raised children and they’re now grown up and out of the house, you may remember what it was like to be with your partner before the chaos, sparking renewed attraction.

Libido after menopause

If you are finding it more difficult to become aroused, here’s how you may be able increase sex drive during the menopause transition:

• Don’t be shy about talking to your healthcare professional about vaginal dryness. Low estrogen may not be the only cause.⁵ Your healthcare professional can recommend over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers and lubricants to try.⁵ Your healthcare professional may also discuss trying prescription hormonal treatments, including estrogen creams, estrogen tablets and vaginal rings.⁵
• Don’t be shy about talking to your partner. Sometimes miscommunication is at play. For example, if sex is, at times, painful for you, your partner may be waiting for you to initiate.
• Schedule it. Together, choose a date and time, and stick to it. On the outset this may feel unromantic, but the anticipation can lead to increased arousal and keeping a sex routine can ensure it happens regularly.
• Get creative. Spend time giving each other full-body massages. Experiment with oral sex and masturbation. Make intimacy the end goal, not orgasms.

Your weight might change

Maybe you remember hearing your mom grumble about metabolism and menopause or maybe your clothes aren’t fitting as well as they used to and you’re beginning to suspect perimenopause yourself. According to the Mayo Clinic, weight gain during perimenopause is common: “Weight gain often continues at about the rate of 1.5 pounds each year as a woman goes through her 50s.”⁶

Perimenopause weight gain

The fluctuating hormones you experience during perimenopause may cause you to gain weight, specifically around the abdomen.⁶ However, the reason some people tend to gain weight during perimenopause has more to do with general aging, genetic factors and lifestyle.⁶ As a person becomes less active, fat increases while muscle mass decreases, affecting your metabolism.⁶ Also at play are factors that can affect your weight regardless of perimenopause, including your diet, sleep habits and genes.⁶

Menopause weight loss: Is it possible?

Yes! Losing weight in pre and postmenopause is possible. Talk to your healthcare professional. According to the Mayo Clinic, fewer calories and more movement are key.⁶ You can also talk to your healthcare professional about hormone therapy, which may help redistribute abdominal fat and improve your sleep.⁶ For some people, gaining weight in the stomach area may lead to heart disease, breathing issues and type 2 diabetes.⁶ However, it’s important to practice self-acceptance, too. Age brings change and while you may not look the same as you did in your 20s, think of all the good things you have gained — wisdom, relationships, experiences and decades of memories.

You may have unusual menopause symptoms

You may be familiar with some of the more commonly talked about menopause signs and symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats and mood changes. But some people experience signs and symptoms they weren’t expecting.

What are the worst menopause symptoms that are also sort of weird?

This, of course, is subjective, but here are five things you may experience in peri and postmenopause that you weren’t expecting:

• You may bruise more easily. During perimenopause, your estrogen levels drop, which can cause your skin to become thinner (and thus more likely to bruise).⁷ The American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) suggests using sunscreen with SPF 30 or more to prevent additional thinning, and perhaps talking to your healthcare professional about retinoid creams or laser treatments.⁷
• You may notice more facial hair. Falling levels of estrogen can result in the little hairs that you feel as if you’re constantly shaving or plucking above your lip, around your jaw line and under your chin.⁷ While completely normal and natural, if it bothers you, don’t be shy about talking to your healthcare professional, who may be able to recommend hair removal techniques such as waxing (if your skin isn’t too thin), prescription cream or laser treatments.⁷
• You may experience hair loss on your head. If you feel as if you have thinner hair, the area in which you normally part your hair is wider or you notice a receding hairline, talk to your healthcare professional (on this one, sooner is better).⁷ The hair loss you’re experiencing may or may not be related to perimenopause; treatment options include topical applications that may stimulate hair growth, laser treatments or hair transplants.⁷
• You might smell different. Night sweats and hot flashes can result in increased body odor, particularly under the arms.⁸ As your estrogen levels drop, your body experiences higher levels of testosterone, which can draw bacteria to your sweat, which can smell.⁸ Take regular showers and experiment with different deodorants and antiperspirants to find one that works for you.⁸ If that doesn’t help, talk to your healthcare professional. Also, perimenopause may trigger a change in your sense of smell.⁸ So even though you may think you smell, others may not even notice!
• You may have acne. Unfortunately those pimples you battled what seems like a lifetime ago may pop up again during perimenopause.⁷ But this time around, you shouldn’t use the products you relied on as a teen.⁷ Instead, AAD recommends using a cleanser with salicylic acid, skipping any acne product that may dry your skin, and talking to your healthcare professional.⁷

You may be experiencing perimenopause and not realize it

The start of perimenopause, the transition period leading up to menopause, varies wildly from person to person. You may experience perimenopause anywhere from four to eight years before you reach the day of menopause.¹

Clearblue® Menopause Stage Indicator provides an indication of your likely menopause stage,⁹ so the more you learn about your stage, the better prepared you can be. Using five simple-to-use urine tests, Clearblue® Menopause Stage Indicator tracks FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) over several days and combines the results with your personal cycle information and age in a free app.¹⁰ The Smart Algorithm in the app uses your test results and personal data to calculate your likely menopause stage⁹: premenopause, early perimenopause, late perimenopause or postmenopause.

When does menopause end?

As we’ve mentioned, the menopause journey is different for everyone. Menopause officially occurs when you’ve gone 12 consecutive months without a period. It’s a single day, a moment in time. If you’re not carefully tracking your periods, you may not realize you’ve experienced menopause. If you’re wondering if you’ve experienced menopause and have moved on to the postmenopause stage, talk to your healthcare professional.

Yes, there are some surprising realities that come with menopause, but some of those realities are things to look forward to. It’s also important to remember that the peri and postmenopause experiences are different for everyone. And if you’re ever looking for some camaraderie, simply bring up “menopause” with someone your age. They’ll likely have their own surprising realities to share.

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