Blog- Am I pregnant?
How to deal with unplanned pregnancy: Seeking support
Nothing in this article is or should be construed as medical advice; for any medical questions, consult your healthcare professional.
Please, please, please be negative, you think.
You look at the pregnancy test you’ve just taken. It’s positive. And unplanned.
Getting an unexpected positive pregnancy test is often an emotionally volatile experience. You may feel uncertain, anxious and frightened when thinking about the next steps. That’s OK. It’s normal to feel disappointment, confusion or concern after an unexpected positive pregnancy test result. You’re also not alone in any of these feelings.
How common are unplanned pregnancies?
As of 2019, about 40% of pregnancies in the United States each year are unintended.1 Many people can relate to your experience. Lean into those who offer compassion and kindness without judgment and critique. You should never feel as if you have to walk this journey alone. Finding help depends on your personality and your personal situation. However, it’s important to include a healthcare provider within your circle of support. Here we talk about why, and who else you may lean on.
Sources of support for an unplanned pregnancy
1. A healthcare professional or ob-gyn
Get in touch with a trusted healthcare professional shortly after you get a positive pregnancy test. If you don’t have an ob-gyn, you can call your primary care physician. You can also ask friends for gynecologist recommendations without even mentioning the word “pregnancy,” or find recommendations online. If possible, check that your healthcare professional aligns with your values and needs.
Your doctor will likely ask you to come in for an appointment. Be prepared to receive a lot of information — in fact, you may want to bring someone with you to take notes and offer emotional support. The doctor may likely confirm the pregnancy with a urine or blood test and will also conduct a routine health screening and physical exam.
In addition to all things medical, your doctor can provide a wealth of resources to help you. All of your questions have value. Don’t be shy to ask.
2. A therapist or counselor
An unplanned pregnancy can bring up a lot of questions and concerns. Sometimes, sitting alone with your thoughts can be messy. A licensed or certified therapist or counselor can help you sort through the swirling thoughts and complex emotions you may experience. These tips can help you find the right fit:
- Ask your healthcare provider or a trusted friend for recommendations.
- Seek someone with an unbiased, nonjudgmental approach.
- Decide whether solo counseling or sessions with your partner would be more helpful.
- If searching online, look for a licensed professional who specializes in pregnancy counseling.
- Don’t be afraid to visit several therapists. It’s important to find the right match.
- Ask ahead of time about insurance coverage and out-of-pocket costs.
3. An accredited, nonprofit organization
Several nonprofit organizations offer a wide range of reproductive health services for women. When searching online, you may come across “crisis pregnancy centers,” also known as CPCs. Not all pregnancy centers are credentialed; if they are uncredentialed, they are exempt from regulatory and licensure oversight. Some centers may not have licensed medical professionals on staff. If this is important to you, ask about their credentials before you visit. If having a trained medical professional on staff is important to you, ask if one is present. If you don’t know of any local accredited organizations, ask a trusted healthcare provider for a recommendation.
4. A partner, family member or friend
If your pregnancy is unplanned, you may be nervous to share the news with a loved one. But those closest to you are in your inner circle for a reason. Think about who you trust and who will most likely offer the best support in this situation — they may be a trusted friend, a family member and/or your partner. In addition to serving as a sounding board, this person can help you find the resources you need, attend doctor’s appointments with you and offer advice (if you want it).
If you’re not receiving the support you need from a partner, family member or friend, distance yourself from the relationship as best you can. Set boundaries. If the issue is with your partner, consider couples’ counseling.
As of 2011, nearly half of the 6 million pregnancies in the US each year are unplanned.1 Many women can relate to your experience. Lean into those who offer compassion and kindness without judgment and critique. You should never feel as if you have to walk this journey alone. Many people are willing to help, no matter the path you choose.
Additional resources for an unplanned pregnancy
If you need them, be sure to look into financial, medical and housing resources in your area. Many resource centers and clinics can provide free or low-cost support, including helplines with judgment-free support and referrals. And if you aren’t finding the emotional support you need in your circle, explore online forums and support groups to connect with a community who has been there.
As you work through appointments and next steps, keep a few grounding thoughts in mind. You are not alone. Remember that statistic from earlier? Forty percent of pregnancies in the United States each year are unintended. You are not the first person to experience the complicated wave of emotions that come with an unplanned pregnancy, and each feeling is valid. Take care of yourself as best as you can. And trust your intuition when it comes to your body and your future.
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Sources
- Rossen LM, Hamilton BE, Abma JC, Gregory ECW, Beresovsky V, Resendez AV, et al. Updated Methodology to Estimate Overall and Unintended Pregnancy Rates in the United States. National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Stat 2(201). April 2023. Accessed October 15, 2025. doi: https://dx.doi.org/10.15620/cdc:124395
